It is so tempting to try to live our lives for God rather than living God’s life through us. But this is not true Christianity; it is merely dead religion.
The true disciple does not compartmentalize (These parts of my life are “spiritual”, and these aren’t), nor does she merely commit (I’m devoting these parts of my life to you, God).
Rather, she dies – dies to her own ideas, goals, agendas, self-leadership, right to be autonomous. It’s a compete death to everything in us that is not made in his image or submitted to his Lordship. And as Jesus promises, this death leads to life. Not our old, dead life now committed to him, but a new, alive life now lived fully through him; being who we were made to be and doing what we were made to do.
God wants to lead us into our work, our rest, our play, our eating, our thinking, our spending, our service, our relationships, our daily activities. And he wants to do this on his terms, not ours, so that they become his rather than ours.
This means that we lose ourselves in the best way possible. It doesn’t mean we become God Puppets. It means that we become God Partners, working joyfully through him to bring about his kingdom. He takes our gifts, experiences, personality, interests, etc and attaches them to something far more beautiful than we’ve ever known.
Anyone who’s tasted this kind of life knows that it’s good, because God is the ultimate good and we find true life in Him alone.
But oh, the trusting can be a challenge! Do we believe that if we let God live his life through us in every area, it will result in our good? That it will actually be bigger and better than any version we could ever create on our own?
Trying to live your life for Jesus is exhausting. And he hasn’t asked you to. So stop trying. Let him live his life through you instead.
When you do this, he himself will start giving you the desire and power to do what pleases him as you devote all your energy to his agenda. Trust him. He loves you and wants the very best for you.