In general, you are as ______ as you want to be.
You’re as smart as you want to be. You’re as healthy as you want to be. You’re as financially fit as you want to be. You’re as socially connected as you want to be. You’re as talented as you want to be, etc.
We lie when we tell ourselves that it’s a problem of resources. It’s almost always an issue of resourcefulness. Tony Robbins makes this point well:
Our greatest obstacles are internal, not external.
In her book Mindset, Carol Dweck writes about how some people have a fixed mindset and others have a growth mindset. Those with the fixed mindset get stuck because they believe their talents and intelligence are stuck. They think they’re either good at something or bad at it, smart in one subject or dumb in it, permanently in shape or overweight. They don’t realize that they have the power to change who they are, what they believe, how they feel, and how they perform. So they spend all their time defending their position, playing the victim, feeling threatened by other’s achievements, and living with a weird cocktail of pride/insecurity/fear/laziness.
On the other hand, those with the growth mindset believe that their talents and intelligence are malleable. Science, of course, confirms this. Study after study has shown that WE decide how smart we are, how good at something we are, what we believe, and how we feel.
But there’s work involved. It’s not magic; it’s effort. Those with the growth mindset are accustomed to trying, failing, trying again. They are constantly learning new things and challenging themselves to improve. They are marked by humility, persistence, hard work, and resilience.
Is this you? One way to tell if you’re stuck in a fixed mindset is by listening to your self-talk. For example,
“I’ll always be this way. There’s nothing I can do to change it.” LIE.
“It’s just the way I was born. Might as well embrace it.” NOT NECESSARILY.
“There’s no point in working hard at this because I’m naturally good at it/bad at it.” LAZY.
Don’t cheat yourself out of your potential by falling into the fixed mindset. Recognize that you have the power to choose, and then begin choosing your best future.
My five-step challenge for you this week:
- Write down one fixed mindset lie you tell yourself.
- Now cross it off and write the growth mindset truth beneath it. Example: “I am as _______ as I want to be.”
- Ask yourself, “What small, practical steps can I start taking to begin improving this area of my life?” Write them down.
- Share this with someone you trust.
- Do yourself a favor and follow through. Make it ridiculously easy at first. You just want to create movement. Movement leads to momentum. Give yourself lots of grace. You’ll fall and that’s okay. Think forward, not fixed.
Shoot me a message or leave a comment if you try this. I’d love to hear about it!